Trans: A Liberal Media Style Guide

As a bastion of quality journalism, it’s our duty to report on controversial issues without bias, and what could be more controversial than the transgenders? It can be a minefield out there, so we’ve written a guide for reporting on the transgender issue with sensitivity and balance.

Terminology

Trans Activist — Trans people are an ideological conceit of the last twenty to thirty years so remember to refer to every trans person as a trans activist regardless of their activities e.g. Billy Tipton was a famous jazz musician, discovered to be a trans activist after death

Transgendered — many trans activists do not like this term as it implies being trans is something done to a person rather than something they are. We can exclusively reveal —and it is in the public interest to reveal— all the gory details of every medical intervention a transgendered person could possibly have, and with so much being done to a person, we think ‘transgendered’ is perfectly correct. Some will not have said interventions but they shouldn’t throw their hat in with the transgendered ideology if they didn’t want the term applied.

Cis — now this term —favoured by trans activists to refer to normal people— is grammatically incorrect as well as offensive to women and should be avoided. Comparisons have been drawn between the term ‘cis’ and the terms ‘straight’ or ‘heterosexual’ which, quite frankly, is homophobic.

Transwomen, Transmen — Ensure you write as one word rather than two separate words so everyone knows you don’t really think of them as actual, proper men or women who happen to be trans.

Non-binary — Term used to refer to someone who believes themselves to be above the category of man or woman. If you must use, consider using qualifiers to show you do not take the person’s professed identity seriously e.g. not ‘Alex, who is non-binary’ but ‘Alex, who uses the faddish term non-binary’

TERF ­– Highly offensive. Avoid at all costs. Just because someone is a self-described radical feminist who wishes to exclude trans people doesn’t mean the term ‘Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist’ (or ‘TERF’ for short) is accurate.

Feminist — Trans people love nothing more than strict adherence to gender roles, as well as the patriarchy, which they are wholly embraced by. Perhaps they even control it, especially transwomen, who hold the majority of power in society. It therefore follows that transgendered people are naturally opposed to feminism and no true feminist could conceive of supporting trans liberation. Trans and feminist must therefore be held as two distinct categories, always opposed and always in conflict with one another. Remember trans people cannot be feminists and true feminists cannot support trans people.

Names

When writing about a transgendered person, it is in the public interest to know what they used to be called. Include their original name where possible and ensure readers know you don’t take the new one too seriously e.g. Nicholas (now Nicola) Gray

Pronouns

Trans activists insist on using pronouns, sometimes to excess. When writing about a transgendered, feel free to use whatever pronouns you think fit best, regardless of the person’s fancies. Some will insist on grammatically incorrect pronouns e.g. the singular use of ‘they’, which was never used by anyone pre 2015. You may humour them if you feel generous but be sure to make a big deal out of it so readers don’t start thinking it’s normal e.g. Rita, who insists on ‘they/them pronouns’

Medical interventions

As mentioned previously, it is in the public interest to go into graphic detail of any medical intervention a transgendered person has had e.g. ‘One of the people caught in the earthquake was a transgendered person from the UK named Ryan. To transition from female to male Ryan has been injecting testosterone into his buttocks bi-weekly since 2014. In 2015 Ryan underwent a double mastectomy to have his breasts removed. He has not undergone phalloplasty, a process transmen undergo in which a penis is created by taking flesh from either the thigh or arm, nor was he believed to have any plans to do so at the time of death. To be clear: he still had a vagina! We do not know whether any other UK nationals were affected by the earthquake at this time.’

Balance

As we are a quality paper, balance is of the utmost impotence to us. Therefore every time a transgendered person is interviewed, it is imperative to interview someone who believes their existence to be a deluded fantasy that is dangerous to indulge e.g. said Emma James, a transgendered person, who has written a new play about owls. Feminist Terry Binns has however cautioned against the play going ahead, arguing it sets a dangerous precedent, ‘if not even owls are safe from this fanatical minority, what hope for the rest of us?’